I yelled at a lady in Trader Joe's today. She was incredibly rude and mean to Aravis and I LOST it. All of my pent-up fear and anger came rushing out in one angry, screaming sentence. Her mouth dropped open and she ran for her car. I'm honestly not even sorry. Although she was genuinely horrible to Aravis and it would have made me mad under normal circumstances, today was just NOT the day to mess with my babies. I reacted.
To be perfectly honest, I feel a tiny bit lighter. I'm so mad at that damn scorpion. I'm so mad at the enemy of life. But it's hard to direct my overwhelming anger in an appropriate manner. All it took was one cranky, rude person to really piss me off and I was GONE. Gone.
It's so maddening to know that you can't always protect your children. There is nothing scarier. Their safety and well-being are not always within your control. But, in this one small circumstance, there was something I could do to protect one of my kids. That poor woman had no idea what she was stepping into when she made that one bad decision. I saw my baby being threatened and I jumped to fight for her.
Parenting is full of mistakes and failures. This may have been a low point for me as a human being, but it was not a mistake as a mama.
One thing is for SURE. I need some Jesus. Cause I'm mad. I'm so so mad.