I want my days back.
I want to play, teach, grow, learn, connect.
I want my kids to have the childhood I know they deserve.
I want to give them all of me, all the time.
I want them to know they are heard and known.
I want our walks back.
I want our park days, our play times, our backyard picnics.
I want to lay down with them for a nap and not think about all the work I am pushing back.
I want to be the one raising them. All of the time.
I hate the days that I don't see them. I come home and they've missed me.
I've missed them.
And then they go to bed. And I work some more.
I want to do holiday crafts. I want to play ponies and superheros.
Being a single mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. Ever.
Not because they are in the way, but because I ONLY want to be with them.
I'm sick today, so we watched Christmas movies and I edited photos. It was the most time I've spent with them in a long time.
But I was still working.
And it's work that I love.
Just not more than I love them.
So, I work because I love them.
And I just keep missing them.