I want to write a post about my Gigi's life.

About how kind she was.

About how well she told a dirty joke.

About her bravery and her sorrow.

About her marriages and children.

About her sisters and her brother.

About her parents and her beloved Auntie Rhee.

About her fabulous taste in jewelry.

About the Queen bee and all of the Simmons women she's left behind.

But I'm still too sad, and I'm not really ready to dive in yet. She died late Sunday night and yesterday was really lonely for me. It's not that I saw her every day... it's just that losing someone you love leaves a hole. I spent all of yesterday in that hole, feeling the emptiness. It was unfortunate that my husband and I had been fighting on Saturday and it hasn't really been resolved, which means I was even more alone. The rest of my family had a lot to do... planning Gigi's memorial and running errands.

It was lonely.

And my kids were fighting.

And my whole family has a nasty cold.

But there were small comforts.

My friend Amber brought me a soy chai latte from Starbucks.

All three of my kids were asleep at the same time for about 15 minutes.

I laid on the couch, in the sun, reading a book for a few hours.

And I have one friend in particular who I can text in my misery and she will speak truth and courage to me.

So, when I've stopped being a deflated balloon, I'll write about my Gigi and her adventurous life...