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Joy

Stephanie Greene October 3, 2014

When I was 8 weeks pregnant with Daisy I was on this same Holy Yoga retreat. I was there to teach the Bible Study for 60 plus women being certified as Holy Yoga instructors. My second day at the retreat I started spotting and cramping. I was sure I was miscarrying and spent the day crying out to God for the life of my baby. My friend Brooke brought this verse to me and I was so aware that God was speaking something profound over me... "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it." {Isaiah 30:15}

I decided to rest; to be still. I went for a massage with a therapist named Elizabeth who had come on the retreat. I told her that I was 8 weeks pregnant but didn't mention that I thought I was miscarrying. While working on me she said, "Oh! You've had other children." I asked how she knew that and she explained that the memory of my children are etched in the muscles and bones of my body. And then she said, "I can even tell sometimes if someone is going to miscarry... but not you. This baby is FIRMLY ROOTED in you." I caught my breath and felt the Presence of God spilling over me in her words. A few minutes later I said, "I haven't told anyone this, but I really feel like this baby is a girl." Elizabeth stopped what she was doing and said, "This baby IS a girl and she is going to change EVERYTHING."

Daisy is six months old and she has already changed everything. Everything. My pregnancy with her was healing in my marriage. Her birth redeemed the sadness of my previous births. Her smiling, beautiful personality has brought sunshine to our family. And now her near death experience has shed beauty and healing over her family, her friends and countless strangers. How can we be anything but confident of God's intervention and rescue? Daisy was at the brink of death. What was meant for sorrow was turned for our good. In the last two days three local television stations have run stories on Daisy (here, here and here). There is no way to keep Jesus from the story because he IS the story. Today Inside Edition is coming to do a story on our little Belle. We KNOW that the miraculous is a story humankind always needs to hear. We need to know that God is still listening, still moving. And, even when our stories don't end with our babies playing and laughing on our laps, God is still just as present. I read a book years ago called God on Mute by Pete Greig. Pete says that when God is silent and seemingly absent he is just on mute. He hasn't stepped away. He hasn't forgotten. He's still listening. He's still faithfully near to us. He's just on mute. And he won't always be on mute. God works for our deliverance even when everything is crashing in around us. He works for our healing even when sorrow follows us to the brink of despair.

Yesterday a woman named Dawn contacted me with her story. It 

was so beautiful, so sad and so full of hope I asked her if I could share it with you. Here is Dawn's story....

"First and foremost my prayers are with you and Daisy… always. This story for me is part of my healing process I guess you could say. Nine years ago, today actually, we lost our beautiful baby boy to the complications of the scorpion antivenom. He was allergic to the old stuff and because of his death Dr. Leslie Boyer brought the new anti venom ( ANTISCORP). It is really ironic that your story would help me through the anniversary of Dally’s death but it does because i know he didn’t die in vain and your baby is alive.. This helps me heal more every day knowing how many children are treated with this antiscorp and how many parents that don’t have to go through what my husband and I did…. When we lost dally it was the worst day of our lives but like you and your husband it also brought me and my husband closer together.  At the time we also had an 4 yr old, 3 yr old and an eight month old son who greatly made our lives easier. We didn't have to put away bottles or anything that reminded us of Dally because his brother Morgan was using those things... Learning that they brought the new anti venom to the states and that no other parents had to go through what we did was somehow peaceful.  Five yrs later unfortunately we would find ourselves in the same scenario.  Morgan was stung on the same finger that his brother had but this time it was at school and not at home.  We went to the same ER where Dally had died and it was so gut wrenching.... I thought here we go again and I was going to lose another son.... what had I done?  But to all avail we were on a helicopter to the University Medical Center in Tucson within an hour where Dr. Boyer was waiting for us.  Within 3 or 4 hours we were eating french fries at McDonald's because Morgan was hungry on the way home... Miracles do happen...."

Jesus. Oh Jesus. His mercy never fails us. Even when sadness and grief have stripped us of life. He is faithful to work for our hope and our healing. He does not abandon us. Dawn's story is gut wrenching. But it is powerfully redeeming. I am both horribly sad and breath-catchingly relieved by what she has experienced. Thank you Dawn, for sharing so openly and for seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living...

I am still so, so grateful for your comments and emails. Thank you for your donations. Thank you for your prayers. This is a story we will tell Daisy for the rest of her life - when she had almost slipped away and the world linked arms to fight for her. Thank you.

← CrashingDaisy is Home →

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| Instagram |

Bee Spirit 🐝 “Her message is that sweet rewards are on their way if you are willing to get your ego out of the way and immerse yourself in the connected energy of all things. Bee Spirit is always producing honey, and miracles and magic are everywhere. When you connect with The Great Hive, you begin to vibrate in exquisite harmony with all. The bee loses its sweetness when it begins to believe that it’ is alone, because the power of the bee is it’s ability to work within a hive mind to create a great mass of sweetness to share.”
@thechurchwitch At some point I realized that moving on from past fucked up relationships had nothing to do with moving on to someone else. Actually, that pattern just kept me stuck in the same cycle of pain.⁣
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I had to be alone.⁣
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I had to learn how to be at peace while I was alone.⁣
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I had to face the wounds that surfaced every time the air around me went quiet.⁣
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I had to answer my own questions about worth, and safety, and preservation.⁣
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I had to deeply, irrevocably love myself.⁣
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Self love is a cleansing energy because it moves us away from the past, away from the wounds that have kept us cycling through the same patterns with new people.⁣
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Learn how to be alone, how to love the heart you hold in your chest, and then see what shifts. We attract what we are - so it makes sense that if we heal ourselves, we’ll attract healing. If we grow ourselves, we’ll attract growing. If we are kind with ourselves, we’ll attract kind.⁣
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Loving others is just the overflow of the love we cultivate for ourselves. Maybe write yourself a love note today and clear the energy of all the times you let a shitty shadow of love make the rules. ⁣
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PC: @lalahdelia “May you believe in your powers of discernment, and may you risk social isolation over and over again in the name of your soulful joy. May you be willing to exist on the fringes in the name of liberation, finding and belonging to those wild circles of openhearted seekers who make you feel as though you are a larger version of yourself and leaving those circles where entry always demands you wear a too-tight mask to disguise your true face… May you write your own holy verses of wild feminine lost and wild feminine regained.⁣
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Hallowed be your heathen soul, and blessed be the Holy Wild.”⁣⁣
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| Danielle Dulsky |⁣⁣
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There’s always more. My work isn’t conversion. Conversion embodies a savior complex that I’ve worked very hard to peel out of my personal operating system and I don’t have any interest whatsoever in picking that back up ever again. ⁣
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My work is spiritual wandering, energetic door holding, asking better + forbidden questions, fiercely protecting spaces that are meant to be havens for the exhausted, the spiritually abused, and the waking up. My work is divining in deserts for hidden wells and then the endless digging to see what stories have been piled up and packed down to hide that source of life. My work is messy, always unfolding, fiery, soft, ritualistic, self empowered, unashamed, evolving, open ended, and always, always starting with the heart and not the head.⁣
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And the best part of knowing that THIS is MY work, is that I don’t need it to be anyone else’s. I’ll do it. I’ll give to it and let it give back to me. I’ll create it, breathe into it, and let it grow in whatever wild, untamed way it needs to.⁣
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I have learned how to lovingly release anyone whose energy directly struggles against mine. Without anger, or judgement, or dualism (right/wrong either/or) I am getting better and better at cutting cords and letting what isn’t meant for me to drift away. It’s the only way I’ll ever be full enough, resilient enough, clear enough, and loving enough to do my own work.⁣
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Here’s to the stretches of time where we raise holy hell in our bones and forge paradise out of being so fully alive it almost burns. Here’s to the unique and fantastic work we are all meant to do and the courage it takes to do the damn thing ❤️⁣
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PC: @reena.sternberg “Her heart was wild
but I didn’t want to catch it.
I wanted to run with it
to set mine free.”
@atticuspoetry Currently: ⁣
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🐝 I’m really deeply happy. ⁣
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🐝 I’m healing myself in ways I had already reconciled to letting breathe until they were ready to be touched and that feels both vulnerable and liberating. ⁣
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🐝 I just today started reading The Holy Wild and I’ve cried like 4 times.⁣
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🐍 Bees have always held a lot of spiritual significance for me, but lately snakes have too. Which is kind of weird because they scare the hell out of me, but they represent the divine feminine, rebirth, and grounding and that speaks to me.⁣
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🐝 So much is aligning around me. I can look back and see how much work I’ve done to be right here in this moment, open to the really good, really clear unfolding Universe. I’m glad I didn’t stay lost in a life that wasn’t mine.⁣
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🐝 I wish I had a full week to spend adventuring with my kids and I can’t wait for our road trip this summer.⁣
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🐝 I’m impatiently waiting for my 23 and me results. ⁣
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🐝 This photo feels like it was from another lifetime. I guess in a way it was. But it’s a good reminder that yoga is a practice that’s meant to evolve and grow while we do.⁣
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🐝I haven’t had a bestie night with @joannbauerhomes and @micheleelizaga in so long. I’m about to just show up with wine and carbs if someone doesn’t make it happen soon. Even if it’s just me and @scottandmarley 🤷🏻‍♀️⁣
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🐝 Last night I discovered a Friends trivia game tucked in with the board games at @lovecraftphx and now I want them to host a Friends trivia night so I can win all the prizes 😉 But really, wouldn’t you come to that??⁣
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🐝 Speaking of Friends, @andrew.graceson, come in here and watch Netflix with me while we still have some Sunday left. If you’re deconstructing your faith, worldview, or God view and want to feel safe and heard in a community of the same open hearted people on the journey of dismantling and rewilding come join the Wild Spirituality group attached to my public FB page ❤️ I’m going to do a live feed on Deconstruction + LGBTQ today. This is a topic that comes up ALL THE TIME and something that deeply needs to be healed, rewritten, and embraced. These live feeds are not a place for debate (especially since this group is not for people looking to be convinced or to convince others of something). These discussions are meant to facilitate an unraveling of what we were handed so we can continue exploring the freedom and worthiness that have always been ours, but maybe have felt out of reach. This particular live feed is really important to me and I’d love to have every spiritual wanderer come find a place to land with us 🌈❤️ “If you have yet to be called an incorrigable, defiant woman,
don't worry, there is still time.”
| Clarissa Pinkola Estes | We had this whole discussion yesterday in the Wild Spirituality group about the symbolism of the serpent in pre-patriarchal Canaan; how it was a representation of the Goddess, the Divine Ancestress, and how it was an embodiment of wisdom. Not of sin, not of punishment, not of shame, not of fear. The Divine Feminine.⁣⁣
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Which turns the whole Adam and Eve story on it’s head.⁣⁣
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There are ideas we are handed and that are normalized, but if we don’t know the story behind the story how can we really attach ourselves to a belief system? I could tell you this image wasn’t altered, but you’d call bullshit. Because you know how to observe and reach conclusions for yourself. Because in context we know exactly how it was made to LOOK like something it isn’t. This is just a photo in your IG feed - it doesn’t shape our worldview or the way we live our lives, so why wouldn’t we give much more attention to uncovering the deeper stories in our faith traditions or belief systems? There’s always more to explore. And ALWAYS the exploring is where we wake up, where we find our good hearts buried under the rubble of a decaying system. ⁣
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Your good heart is worth unburying. At some point in the past few years I decided to fully embrace the reality that I am going to make mistakes. I’m going to fuck up. I’m going to wander off the path. I’m going to have to humble myself, calm myself, forgive myself, love myself right in the dead center of my own mistakes. I decided that I was going to be true to myself and that I was going to let what was true to me change and evolve as I lived my life.⁣
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It changed everything.⁣
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I started seeing myself, and other people, and the flow of life differently. Everything has been a lesson and everyone has been a teacher. Shame doesn’t have anywhere to land because I decided a long time ago that my heart is innately good and I don’t have to justify how it speaks to me. I don’t have to make anyone else comfortable with what’s true to me.⁣
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We end up doing harder things than we thought we were capable of. We heal ourselves by going all the way into the darkest parts of our stories, by naming the pain and choosing the growth. Fuck yeah it hurts. And fuck yeah it heals.⁣
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We heal.⁣
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Give yourself this gift, babes. Decide that your mistakes have a place in the story. Decide that shame doesn’t.⁣
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PC: @lightworkerslounge
Wild Spirituality Podcast