I just read this post. A post by a mama who lost her 7 month old daughter to liver failure. A post that creeps into my heart and stares my daily frustration in the selfish face and says "Shut the hell up."

All day I've been thinking that there is nothing wrong with my loud, disobedient kids. The fault lies with their mama. I'm responsible for the atmosphere of our home during the day. I'm the adult. I'm thier mama. And who am I to be frustrated over the constant fighting, the tattling, the selfish words? I can hold my babies anytime I want to. I can kiss their faces and breathe in the scent of their skin. I can sing them to sleep and giggle over the silly things they say. I can soothe hurt feelings and band aid scrapes and "bwoody owies".

No matter how overwhelming my day is I can sit back RIGHT NOW, nursing Daisy and listening to Aravis and Judah play a video game with their daddy. I nearly lost Daisy 2 months ago and that feeling of loss and fear is not forgotten.

I am choosing to be thankful tonight for the incredibly frustrating day of playing referee. Jesus. Thank you for my healthy, whole children. Thank you for breathe in their lungs and fiesty sparks in their souls.

In all of my gratitude I cannot forget to sink into the sorrow of the women who have lost their children. For just a moment. Just a tear soaked, heart crashing moment. Oh Jesus. Jesus....