Years ago I got eyelash extensions and hated every inch of the experience. The lashes were heavy and I never stopped being able to feel them - it was like wearing lash strips 24/7 until they fell off and took my natural lashes with them. But even though I hated the experience, I love the idea of how convenient they are. My natural lashes are pretty unimpressive and I have to wear mascara to even look like I HAVE lashes. So yesterday I spent 2 hours at Deka Lash in North Scottsdale with the raddest lash technician and I’m still in awe of how light and natural these extensions are!
If you’re a desert local and you’re about that skip-the-mascara-and-still-look-like-you-have-eyelashes look definitely check out this lash studio. These are the glamour c-curl extensions and I basically just lazily rolled out of bed this morning and took this image to show you. No lie - this is as glam as I get on most days and I’m digging it.
If you want to try them out you can get 10% off a full set by booking through this link.
You’re on such holy ground.
The stirring, the revealing, the accepting, the healing.
We are all both light and dark and we have to learn how to live in the balance of both.
We set ourselves free by loving both, honoring both, giving space for both to breathe - that’s how we keep ourselves from being consumed by darkness or idealizing light.
It’s what every sage and mystic went to the deep desert to learn and as empaths we’re actually given a stronger tendency towards living in the balance.
We just have to hone our ability to live in the tension of being both light and dark and with self kindness and self love fueling the way we wander.
Being human and divine means being both earth and stars, both inward and upward, both grounded and rising, both gentle and strong, both light and dark.
It’s the birthright we aren’t taught to explore.
You’re exploring and that’s so fucking powerful.
You’re deep in the desert, my love.
Encountering, struggling, and encountering again.
It’s all going to shift here.
The Divine has ALWAYS dealt in wilderness.
When you feel lost remind yourself of the mantra Brene Brown wrote for us: being all light is as dangerous as being all dark, simply because denial of emotion is what feeds the dark.
Be both. Without shame or fear.
Without questioning your innate goodness.
I’ll always be the mom who cheers for you, who reminds you that you alone own your body and energy, who recognizes how immensely important it is for you to express yourself in wild and quiet ways, who has always seen both the light and dark in you and celebrates them both the same, who remembers your first everything and anticipates the freaking epic things you will do in your lifetime. I’ll be the mom who asks questions more than I make statements, who waits for you to know yourself before I tell you who you are, but who reminds you of the truth when your heart is heavy and clouded. I’ll be the mom who puts you first, who drops you off at school and yells out how much I love you, who holds space for you and your friends to stretch and grow, who hears every detail about every crush, and who believes in what you’re capable of. I’ll be at every game, I’ll read every paper, I’ll frame every piece of art (and holy shit, you have a gift), I’ll go to bat for you as often as I need to. I’ll fight for you, love for you, do everything in my power to make sure that you have something different than your dad and I had. You’re not just my daughter, you are something sacred and divinely feminine. You don’t know it yet - and despite what the world will tell you - but your greatest power will always be in being a woman. You’ll be the most clear, strong, and free when you don’t compete, don’t compare, don’t fight against the way other women rise. Don’t waste your energy working against women, you were made for the kind of unbreakable power that wells up in all of us when we work together. Own it, cultivate it, fight for it. Show up for women you don’t know. Amplify the stories of women you may never meet. Link arms and voices with every woman you can. That’s where your power is. If I could give you anything it would be this: be ashamed of nothing and compete with no one. You are much too powerful for that. You are a fucking badass. So make mistakes. Big ones. And then shake them off, learn from them, let them teach you. Live without an inch of shame and with a healthy respect for fear. Choose the path that is true to you and know that - to me - you will always be the girl with constellations on her face.
“You are your medicine.”
/ S.C. Lourie
Things I’ve learned through doing deep heart work in the middle of heartbreak, loss, and reclaiming myself:
🌵 I wasn’t the best version of me for a long time & that’s ok. I lost a lot because of the way grief moved through me, but I can have compassion for myself & others. Some relationships don’t outlast emotional hurricanes, but maybe they weren’t meant to.
🌵 Someone said something to me and about me once in their own grief & anger that offended the hell out of me. I pushed back on it. Hard. But it keeps coming back to me & I’m realizing now that they were right. It stung when they said it because I already felt so lost, but I can hear it with clarity now.
🌵 Healing is a mess. It is painful, & uncomfortable, & requires a daily cleaning out of the wound. It limits the way we move & live, making it hard to even be human some days. And I’m okay with that. I know I’m slowly working my way into a new kind of life. I know it’s going to cost me the old life.
🌵 Mistakes are a given. They ARE going to happen & they’re going to happen often. I stopped trying to live perfectly & made peace with the mistakes I am bound to make. That was the most liberating decision.
🌵 Energy matters. I’ve known almost right away who I vibe with & I’ve learned how to trust that. Wherever I have a deep, energetic connection with someone there is opportunity for a massive amount of healing or freedom. We are meant to serve love to one another & it comes in so many different ways. The universe is always moving forward & I’m learning how to follow.
🌵 I’m a good mom. I’ve worked my ass off for years to trust that (just ask @ginadpollard). I’m not perfect & I don’t pretend to be, but my kids know how fiercely loved they are & how free they are to be themselves. They are my first thing. Always. I will mama wolf my way all the way home with them & they never have to doubt that.
🌵 Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting, but everything to do with setting myself free. It’s the daily decision to cut the rope and let people float away. It’s the intentional practice of refusing to poison myself with resentment & I am free-er because of that.
- I haven’t done laundry in a few days and 2 of my kids had to dig for socks this morning.
- I somehow thought it made more sense to throw on leg warmers instead of pants and this is how I hit up school drop off.
- I have white tile in most of my house and a black dog. Guess how often I should vacuum? Now guess how often I actually do vacuum? I should vacuum today ...
- I got really triggered last night and I woke up with a trigger hangover so I’m practicing self care and letting myself feel all of it. This is all a part of healing. It’s just the uncomfortable part.
- I’m doing a public Intro to Yoga + Oils live feed in a few hours and blessing the Universe for a job that lets me be both an introvert and an extrovert at the same time.
- In about 2 minutes I’m going to pull out my yoga mat, turn my playlist aaaall the way up, and have church right here in my living room.
- This year I made the best, most liberating decision for myself. I decided that I AM going to make mistakes. It’s inevitable. So I’ve committed to being true to myself all the damn time - whatever mistakes I make will be made in new ways. Surprisingly this has made me pretty shame resistant. I’ve stopped trying to please others, or to be something I’m not, or to neeeeever mess up. Which leaves me with a whole lot of inner peace when I fuck it all up because I know I’ve honored myself and others the best I can.
- 90% of the time I live with an open hand, letting things come and go as they will. I trust that everything exists in a flow and what is meant for me will come to me. And then 10% of the time I just want what I want and THAT is the real practice. I’m learning how to keep my hands open with the things that feel like the exact and perfect fit for my soul but have yet to flow in my direction. I’m meditating on that today. That’s the work I’m doing for myself.
- I’m rooting for you, humanity. I’m rooting for messy, judgement free, exposing, liberating, healing disruption. For the kind of life experience that is sharp enough to go deep and soft enough to nurture your heart to wholeness.
☀️I live here now (in this sauna).
☀️I’m totally getting the hang of the single mom thing. Last month I paid all my bills on time and the trash cans made it to the curb every week.
☀️I haven’t had a full blown panic attack in about 6 months (thanks to meds, yoga, pranayama, reflexology massages, and EOs).
☀️I’m a process junkie. I don’t ever stop working my shit out and sometimes go from heartbreak to healing in a few days (or hours).
☀️My version of church involves hiking or yoga and will never have anything to do with a building or a religious institution ever again. I hold a lot of solidarity for the people who have come limping out of religion and are still trying to feel out spirituality.
☀️I’m an empath, a recovering codependent, legit somewhat clairvoyant, and - despite being one thousand percent done with the Christian church - I still love the Jesus path.
☀️Energy is the first thing I’m attracted to. I can feel a connection right off the bat and I’m highly responsive to it.
☀️I taught yoga for 10 years and I’ve been taking a break for a year and a half. I’m still not sure if/when I’ll teach again, but my personal practice is thriving.
☀️I make some (ok, one) of my friends crazy because I see the grey in everything. I’m only black/white, either/or if I see people being abused, marginalized, or experiencing injustice. Then I’m straight fire.
☀️This year I’ve been very intentionally shedding the abuse and trauma of purity culture. If you don’t know what that is throw up praise hands, babes. You’ve been spared some toxic shit.
☀️I work from home and have two rad businesses: I’m a photographer in Phoenix and I lead over 500 stellar oilers at YOGA + OILS (essential oil based, non toxic badassery).
☀️I learned how to be alone this year. For the first time in my life. And that was everything.
☀️It might be hard to believe, but you matter to me. Human beings, their lives and stories, are the current of Divine Love in the world. Experiencing the Divine Flow means loving people and that feeling is at the base of almost every interaction I have with people.
☀️I swear a whole lot. And I kind of don’t trust people who don’t 😉