Have you felt trapped in religion, confined to a particular way of things, and hungry for space to stretch yourself out in? Are you tired of rules that justify spiritual abuse, texts that have lost their intention along the way, and the oppressive way patriarchy breathes down your neck? Have you felt this stirring in your gut, like something else is billowing up out there? Have you smelled it in the air, like rain moving through the desert? Have you tried to be tame, to submit, to align yourself with a culture that makes less sense the further out you get from it?
Little by little you're going wild. Small death by small death you are entering the wilderness. Breath by breath you're reclaiming your soul.
Wild spirituality is the vast universe of encounter, the space where we wander in search of deeper wells and clearer voices. It's where toxic religious tradition burns off and we're left with bare bones, free spirits, and a divine expectation of more. Feminine energy thrives here, breathes herself into broader spaces here. The wide open space of the wild woman who lives in all of us, regardless of gender, knows that this is her ground. We do the terrifying, liberating work of untethering ourselves from traditions and expectations that have kept her buried and kept all of us in the dark. The more we reconcile to the fluidity of spirituality and sexuality, the more we encounter the limitless, inclusive, always expanding love of God. We find less need for language and tradition that keep us fighting each other over glorious differences. We stop caring who loves who - we just care that Love is alive and breathing into us. We stop caring about the gender of God - we just care that we are given the gift of seeing the divine spark in all of us. We stop caring about political lines - we just commit ourselves to fighting for each other. We stop caring about antiquated rules that were created to serve empire - we know now that we're going to have to level all of our walls in order to discover what is waiting in the divine flow.
In the beginning, when we first step into the wilderness, we're unsure of what's going to happen. This is all new, all unknown territory. We've never lived this life, breathed this air, traveled this road. We don't know who or what is out here, what is going to surface in us when we're alone, or if the desert ever turns into an oasis. We just know that going backwards is never an option and that moving forward means facing the wilderness. We start out with heavy bags, certain that we need these perspectives, theologies, and certainties in order to survive. We carry them like boulders strapped to our backs, but it isn't long before we begin to taste the wild air. We dismantle our survival instincts, our filters, our labels, and our attempts to be in control. Eventually, usually when we're alone in the dark, we realize we aren't carrying anything anymore. Our souls are breathing. Our minds are expanding. Our hearts are healing. Our bodies are releasing. We're going wild.
Whatever scared us about awakening the wild in us seems childlike now. We were afraid because we didn't have context for who we could be out here. We were afraid because we were told to be afraid. But here we are, thriving.
The beauty of wild spirituality is that it grows where it wants to, flourishes as it wants to, uncovers wells when it wants to. It isn't a knowing, it's an unknowing. It's a willingness to discover that we were always wrong about where God must live. It's a brave resilience and the fierce way we face storms when they come. It's the empowering uncovering of how capable we are, how strong we are, how worthy we are. The wilderness is open to everyone who seeks it, but few choose it.
I don't need to give you a list of ways to know if you are going wild. You know if you are. You feel the way it cracks open in you, slowly at first and then like a burst of stars in the deep desert. You taste the change in you when you're talking to people who are walking different paths, the way your words feel unfamiliar and true on your tongue. You know when you're stepping into the wild because you're even asking the question now. Are you dismantling? Are you facing the pain? Are you telling the truth with your whole life? Are you exploring the vastness of creation and the creatress? Are you finding divine beauty in places you were certain only held empty philosophies? Are you waking up to the sacred feminine in you? Are you soft but fierce, loud but clear, bright but dark, wild but safe? Then here you are. Thriving in wild spirituality. This is the waking up, the realization that this ground has always been holy, the reconciling of who you've been to who you're becoming. Welcome to the next right thing, love.